BODY BAG: Zip yourself in for a bumpy night!

BODY BAGS

Wacky over and over the top describe the horror anthology Body Bags. Made by SHOWTIME network and hosted by John Carpenter himself as a Crypt Keeper type character. The frame device for the anthology is a lot of fun and its cool to see Carpenter act. (though dont hold your breath to ever see him do it again per the commentary.) The wrap around for the stories take place in you guessed it a morgue -with the aide of The Coroner (Carpenter) a screwy ghoul who helps set up the three segments. 

By Michael Vaughn

GAS STATION

Ok, if anyone’s had to work 3^rd shift at a convenience store/gas station this segment hits home. From personal experience you meet some mega creepy people on the grave shift at one of these places. This segment is the first of two directed by horror director (and host) John Carpenter. Right off the bat one of many inside film jokes we learn that a killer from you guessed it Haddonfield is on the loose so we know this takes place in the same universe as HALLOWEEN. Film buffs will also notice John steals a shot from Halloween (but hey he can its his movie) when the killer when thought to be dead rises for one more scare. The mayor fun of this whole anthology is the spot the cameo and I must say GAS STATION by far has the best of them. This segment features no less than TWO count`em two legendary horror directors who make cameos. First we have Wes Craven as a weirdo customer and later Sam Rami as a dead body. Also let’s not forget cult favorites Buck Flower and David Naughton pop up. 

Speaking of actors everyone is pretty solid in their performances. Main actress Blank takes her role seriously without over doing it. Robert Carrdine (best known for Revenge of the Nerds) plays a rather over the top character and yes it’s hammy but it’s a lot of fun as well. The plot is very by the numbers slasher but because of the cameos and quick pace and blood bath at the end it’s in my mind the second best out of the three stories.

HAIR

John Carpenters second segment is Hair starring the always cool Stacy Ketch as a successful man that has it all, money a nice place and a hot girlfriend what’s missing in his life?  His hair of course. This is by far the best of the three.

 The actors are at the top of their game with co stars David Warner and Sheena Eastmen (as Stacys hot girlfriend) like the previous episode there’s fun cameos by Debby Harry and Greg Nicotro. As light on story as Gas Station was, Hair has a more interesting plot that is both goofy, freaky and in a strange way a morality tale on the dangers of men’s vanities.  Unlike the previous episode Gas Station and the following EYE gorehounds should not expect the same level of carnage but never fear there is some ghoulish special effects and make up so no need to wig out. Also Hair stands out in another way which is tone. This plays more for hair raising laughs which is no means a bad thing and I feel it adds a nice balance of the three, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was planned that way. While not as gory or serious as the other two Hair has a extremely well thought out story executed beautifully by its director and talented actors. Don’t just comb it over.

EYE
The last segment of the three is Eye directed by Tobe Hopper who of course directed such fims as 1974`s Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Poltergeist etc. Eye for me is the weakest of the three. Mark Hamill (Luke SW`s) plays Brent a baseball player who is headed to the big leagues, but seeing how this isnt a Disney movie you know somethings gotta go wrong. While driving home one night Brent has a terrible auto accident and injures his you got it, eye. Luckily through the miracle of science doctors are able to transplant his eye from a dead man -i think you can guess where this is going. Soon Brent is seeing visions of horrible things through his new peeper.OK so let me get one thing out of the way first, whats up with Mark Hamill doing a cringe worthy accent. Its not necessary and distracts rather then adds anything to his performance. Its just terrible. Also body should have to see a naked Mark Hamill. Speaking of terrible acting model Twiggy plays Brents wife and gives a cardboard cut out job at it. Sure back in the day she was pretty but who ever thought to have her act. Bad acting aside the plot is sort of predictable to anyone whose seen any kind of transplant from a dead person who turns out ot be a killer, hell Simpsons did it before. The highlights are the cameos by legend and hero of mine Roger Corman and John Agar who play the doctors that fix Brent up.

This by far the bloodiest of the three, which makes it not a total lose. Its also  much darker in tone with heavy handed religious themes that felt like this story is taking it self wayyy to serious rather then trying to have some fun like the previous two. Overall is not horrible but just not very special in any sense of the word. The end of the film is fun with two surprise cameos that i wont spoil for you.

Bottom Line: Is this the best anothlogy ever, no not by a long shot but this is a great flick to watch with fellow gorehounds on a Friday night. So Zip yourself in. SHOUT FACTORY has released a great blu/dvd combo of this and of course its packed with extras. 

Gorehounds End of the Year Round Up! The good the bad the fugly! PART 3

2013 was a pretty good year for DVD/Blu Ray collectors...Heres a look at what should have been on your shelf last year and a look at coming up goodies you can expect for this one!



BEST BLU RAY:

Nosferatu Kino 2 disc

Runners Up: Repo Man Criterion Collection
Halloween 35th Anniversary collection with brand new features and commentary.













BEST BLU RAY COLLECTION

Universal Monsters: Finally all your favorite classic monsters in HD and even better Creature from the black Lagoon in 3D!


Runners up: Alfred Hitchcock collection
Corentto Trilogy: Shaun of the dead, Hot Fuzz and The Worlds End with great extras
Friday the 13th Collection


BEST BLU RAY STEELBOOK

Hands down the two beauties from Synapse. Demons and Demons two spotting great artwork. This is a true collectors item.
Runner Up
Basket Case Trilogy Steelbook


BEST DVD/BLU RAY COMPANY
Shout Factory sub division Scream Factory for rereleasing horror gems and genre classics with brand new commentaries and features with stunning new artwork. This company truly knows what fans want.


Runner Up
Severin
Olive Films

WANT SHOULD BE ON MY SHELF THIS YEAR:

Stage Fright Blue Underground Release date not known
Last House on Dead End street is FINALLY getting a proper rerelease that wont cost you a left arm (the Barrel dvd is very pricey.)
Neckromatic- I believe the same company doing LH is also doing this, not sure yet what will be on it.

And anything from Shout Factory!

HUGE THANKS TO LOU RUSCONI FOR THE NEW BANNER!

Gorehounds End of the Year Round Up! The good the bad the fugly! PART 2

Part 2 of the End of the Year Round Up.

Now for the stinkers of the year! And Boy where there many.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2013

This seemed to escape alot of peoples worst of list. Wow were does one begin with this stink fest. Its like the filmmakers said, hey everything logical yeah lets just throw that right out the window. Like a baby born in 1974 is magically a teenager um what? I think the filmmakers got a book of horror movie staples and tried to fit them in to one lame Hollywoodized pile of shit. Probably by far the worst reboot to date.







V/H/S 2

I have to admit, i was not a fan of the first film. Despite the hype I felt what could have been an awesome film So when VHS 2 was rushed out to a mass audience I was less then excited BUT I was willing to give it a chance anyways. The result was a even more lackluster affair then the first one. I`m sure there is already a prepackaged third film even more rushed and souless waiting for its rabid fan base. But hey I gave it a chance.

Carrie 2013

What can i say about Carrie? Its sums up everything wrong with Hollywood trying to cash in on a successful product and sucking the very life and soul out of it. Even the interesting lead actress Chole Grace Moretz in the title role could not save this lame clone of the classic Brian De Palma film. Lets not take this one to the prom.

Evil Dead 2013
I`m sure a lot of you disagree with me on this one, and i`ve seen this on many best of 013 lists but Evil Dead is D.O.A. I will admit I enjoyed the first half of the film. It was an interesting idea having the group of teens be there for a Mia a friend of theirs whose trying to get clean off of drugs. Its a nice departure from the standard retreat gone horribly wrong. What was even more genius is when things started getting weird for Mia its all chocked up to withdraw not supernatural happenings. However as smart and creepy as the first act is it soon resorts to the familiar slasher trappings like TCM3D and relying on gross out effects rather then suspense to scary the audience.  I`m all for gore but it takes more then that to make this a good film. The Conjuring was the best horror film this year and did not have a drop of blood or gore in it. Just goes to show you what makes a good horror films to some.
The acting in this is also terrible and the lead male actor Shiloh Fernandez bland and not very bright (but yet can make a home made defibrillator??) None of the charm and scare of the original Evil Dead. Lets hope we get a AOD 2.

PART 3 COMING SOON.

Gorehounds End of the Year Round Up! The good the bad the fugly! PART 1

Another year has gone by and your ghoulish pal Gorehound Mike is going to break down the best and worst of 2013 Part 1

The Conjuring 

The sleeper hit is everything it promises to be and more. Right from frame one (of creepy Annabell) this film grips you and doesn't let up to the credits roll. This is truly a film that deserves to be called scary without simply relying on gross out splatter effects to terrify its audience. I cant stress enough how brilliant a screenplay this is and how well the characters are developed. Conjuring hits every horror supernatural note just right without feeling  trait, from the haunting score, the great acting and the nightmarish cinematography which sets the mood better then any film i`ve seen in recent years. As stated above this film really
 gets into the core of a innocent family that is being terrorized by unseen demonic forces and there so well written and acted that we the audience deeply care about what will happen to them. I`ll keep this brief as already so many things have been written about this movie and is already a classic in the genre. 

 A fun spooky thrill ride from start to finish, you`ll be hard pressed to find a better film this year!

Maniac  

I remember hearing the news about Elijah Wood, everyone's favorite hobbit tackling the the titular role in Maniac a role that made greasy Joe Spinell a cult film star. I`m sure i`m not the only fan to say this was a odd casting choice.   But once the trailer hit the web I like everyone else was totally blown away but the level of scary Wood had brought and I knew then he was up for the challenge. Let me start by saying while Maniac is a deserved cult classic its not by any means a great film and I was open to the idea of a reboot. The end result is a disturbing and all together different take on Bill Lustings film which regains what worked about the original and fixes what didn't. Sorry but in the original i never bought how a slime ball like Joes character could land a babe like Caroline Munore.

But like real life killer Bundy Wood is charming,good looking and dangerous. French director Franck Khalfoun (High Tension) shows the seductive charm of Frank then slowly peels back the layers to reveal his true ugly and destructive self. Frank`s characters though out the film has these weird ticks and as the film progresses they get work, a very nice touch the filmmaker added. What is kept from the original is the creepy mannequins which this time around serves the story as Woods character Frank restores them for a living,making him not so weird to the audience right away for having them around. Again its a welcomed departure from the 1980 film. 

With a tight screenplay and well paced action and a very talented cast Maniac is one remake not only delivers the goods but in many ways surpasses the original.
There is some great little inside jokes for fans of the 1980 film to enjoy.

Jug Face
A late addition to the end of the year was Jug Face, i film i rented and was totally blown away. See my full review in the Archives. 








Frankensteins Army 
When I was but a wee gore hound I was really into a old school computer game called
Wolfenstein 3D the granddaddy of all first person shooter games (Wayyyy before GOW and Halo) Now let me be totally clear this is not a official adaptation of Wolfenstein the game, however fans of the first person shooter will get why i draw the comparison. I admit I groaned loudly when I saw this film was in the over used documentary style but this format actually works well in the context of the story. 


A young Russian  solider armed with a camera films their team on their mission  during the end of the second World War. They see some strange things in a small village but things go from bad to worse when they stumble into a Nazi madmans lab full of horrible creatures. Frankensteins Army jolts new life into a monster that can easily be silly rather then scary. F.A sets itself apart from the rest by first setting its story during the end of WW2 and giving its point of view from the Russians.  Also the creatures in Dr.Frankensteins lab are very cool with well done makeup effects that reviles any fright film this year. There a cool steampunk monster fusion that is a visual treat for the audience.  The plot is paper thin but the above mentioned more then makes up for this.
Frankensteins Army takes a totally fresh spin on the legendary monster and delivers on great special effects

Curse of Chucky
When it was announced that the next film in the never ending Chucky series would be direct to dvd/blu ray I and im sure most jaded horror fans like myself wrote it off as another quick cash in that is recycled and shoveled out to the masses.(i.e Carrie 013)

But to everyone's surprise its actually DAMN GOOD! Like Freddy, Chucky over time beaome less scary then funny with quippy one liners before he kills his victim. Wisely director Don Mancini
(Childs Play writer/co creator) restores Chucky to his former scary self. Its interesting that Mancini takes a "OLD DARK HOUSE" approach which amps up the feeling of dread beyond just relying on ol Chuck for all the creepy vibes. The writing is very clever and for fans of the series ties everything up nicely. Not only did this surpass everyones expectations but is a real game changer with the way fans look at direct to dvd/blu ray films, it really raises the bar high. 

Hair Band Horror Series: When metal went horror!

Gorehound Mike here...Heavy metal and horror movies, they go together like a maniac and a sharp axe! In this series were going to take a look at some films filled with everything great about metal:devil worship,sex murder and BAD HAIR!! Maybe even a surprise interview or two! This serieMs is written by Marc Heller a talented new staff writer at Gorehound Mikes! So sit back, crank some tunes (backwards) and enjoy these cheese tastic metal gore wonders...

Title: Blood tracks
by Marc Heller

Blood Tracks, also known as "Shocking Heavy Metal" is a paint by numbers copy of Hills Have eyes, only they've replaced the family in the Winnebago with a Swedish hair metal band, their film crew, and a bunch of slutty models

I went into this expecting the cheese factor at the highest possible level, and the film did not disappoint. In the beginning of the movie, we see a woman defend her children from her abusive and drunk husband who tries to take what little money they have. He slices her throat, a superficial wound, she stabs him in the back, he dies. All this happens while a huge burly man who could have broken the whole thing up just stands there and watches, and yells "murderer !"after she's done the deed. She than runs off with her children.

Flash forward to 1985, 40 years later according to the deep voiced narrator. Who also indicates this family has lived in solitude, until intruders came. Those intruders would be the Swedish metal band Solid Gold, and their entourage. They have come to the snowy mountains to film their latest music video. Our rocking Swedes are also joined by models who dance poorly and wear make up like war paint. Initially, they try to provide the comic relief in the film by way of hilariously bad one liners. But eventually, they serve their true purpose, as exposed breasts are a staple of 80's horror.

Despite repeat warnings of avalanches, the group proceeds to move ahead and shoot their video on the mountain . Sure enough, after we are treated to a choreographed performance of a hair metal ballad, their performance appears to have triggered an avalanche. But not until they finish, and go back to a cabin to frolic with the models. We get treated to some avalanche stock footage, while everyone in a cabin pretends to react to the impending avalanche, everyone except the one band member who is having sex in a car with a model, who all the others must now save. Obviously, since this in 80's horror film, and someone has had sex, its time for people to die. While the rest of the band and the models dig out the band member and the model, the camera crew heads to an abandoned factory. Which of course has giant red signs everywhere telling people not to go in. In a scene before, it is established the family now lives in the factory, they are grotesque, and they kill someone who is inspecting the property.

Somehow, living in the abandoned factory has turned the family into mutants. The kids now have big scruffy beards, furry jackets, and a bad complexion. The eldest kid and mom speak, while the rest grunt and jump up and down like monkeys. For the remainder of the film, people keep going into the factory and get killed, until someone finally gets up on the mountain and starts offing the family. And than he takes an axe to the head. The intelligent brother attempts to stop the violence, we get some dialogue which is supposed to make us feel bad for the family. And than a lot of people die.

The film tries to disguise itself as an American horror film, but the horrendous dubbing is a quick giveaway. Clearly the studio dug from the bottom of the barrel when casting this film, as reading even the simplest of lines was a task too hard for most cast members. Still, I can't help but enjoy this film in some sick twisted way. If you can handle bad acting and 80's fashion, and you liked The Hills Have Eyes, this is at least good for a laugh. But is otherwise awful.

Theres an Eyeball in my Martini: Campy horror reviews by David Del Valle: CHRISTMAS EVIL

HELLO horror fiends, David here...Santa was good to me, he brought me he brought me some joints from CA!
 Since its Christmas, and this is Gorehound Mikes were going to be checking out my favorite Horrorday classic "YOU BETTER WATCH OUT aka Christmas Evil.

John Waters call this film "the greatest Christmas movie ever made" and with his sense of the absurd as a director I know he means it. This is a very strange film to watch with if you have any sense of conventional horror films whether they are about Santa Clause or not. This is not really a slasher film per say in the tradition of BLACK CHRISTMAS or SILENT NIGHT BLOODY NIGHT. Christmas Evil is more like psychological thriller with a nod to whimsical films like THE 5000 FINGERS OF DR T in that the central character is not so much a killer as he is a very disturbed man and all because as a child in 1947, he saw mommy kissing Santa Clause and more than that Santa was groping her leg and this shocked the boy so much he ran upstairs and cut himself on a snow globe flash-forward to 1980 to see just how much this now grown man( played to perfection by Brendan Maggart) has survived on all the Christmases yet to come. 

The film is paced like a bad dream in which nobody ever really wakes up. The toy factory where Brenden is overseer is called The JOLLY DREAM and I feel that is what we as an audience are having a joyful Xmas dream where Santa can be recreated by gluing on a beard and filling your van up with presents for all the good little boys and girls at the local hospital. There is so much going on if you can get behind this a bit as it is very slow for the first hour or so and the print I watched was with the Director Lewis Jackson in the audience. Mr Jackson never made another film after Christmas Evil and he was visibly moved by all the attention that night. He said he wanted his daughter to have the print we were watching and that it was in the kind of shape where it could not be run through a projector many more times in any case. This is really an indie classic with all the decor and lighting of an Ed Wood film yet made with love and care just the same. Most of the actors went on to have careers and this little sleeper of a film is now regarded as one of the very best of the evil Santa genre of films made during the 1980's and beyond. I mean this film starts out like a classic Argento with a child witnessing a traumatic situation this time sex instead of murder but then it takes its time allowing this character to show you just how around the bend he really is...I mean he keeps book on the good children as well as the bad in his neighborhood...nothing though will prepare you for what follows with a musical number with this bad Santa dancing like Rasputin in a Hammer film...only to warn the children at the party that if they are not good something "horrible" would come their way on Christmas eve...at this point some of the parents look a bit confused. 

Mr. Jackson spoke at length about how hard it was to ask for more money to finish the film as it began as a project with a budget of $500.000 and this quickly escalated into $800.000 he was saved by the mafia in New Jersey that came through with the much needed $300.000 more in funds. Now the film does not look like it cost a lot even by the standards of the day. The print was turning red by now but this can all be taken care of if a blu ray is done and Mr. Jackson believed there was for late 2014. If you have not seen this little gem of surreal yuletide then prepare yourself with a joint and a cocktail and watch Christmas evil like most normal film fans watch ITS A WINDERFUL LIFE....it really does have a fairy tale ending after all. The original title for this film was YOU BETTER WATCH OUT...and that was the title on the print that evening.

MORE ABOUT DAVID: David Del Valle is an author and film historian whose work has appeared in books magazines and dvd supplements. David has also curated several photo exhibits using THE DEL VALLE ARCHIVES a collection of several thousand images from cult fantasy and Horror films that has an international reputation. His awarding winning DVD VINCENT PRICE THE SINISTER IMAGE is now considered a classic of it's kind. In January a TV series based on The SINISTER IMAGE will be streaming on RAPID HEART TV featuring cult and horror films introduced by David.

links http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Del_Valle

Films in review

http://www.rapidheart.com/

Jug Face: Make some Face time with it....IF U DARE!

JUG FACE

2013

Directed by: Chad Crawford Kinkle




When you watch a horror film set in the back woods your sure to get either deformed monsters or just twisted Ned Beatty rapers, if you`ve seen one you`ve pretty much seen them all. But JUG FACE wisely takes the high ground and does neither yet creates its own terrible mythos that will send shivers down your moon shine drinking spine.

Jug Face tells the story of a clan of people that must sacrifice certain members at the behest of an unseen force that dwells in "The Pit" How do they know whom to kill you may ask, well its quite simple. A choosen man (played brilliantly by Sean Bridgers) named Dawai makes the jugs in a sort of trance of its intended victim. Our heroin of the story Ada (Lauren Ashley Carter) finds its her face in the latest jug.To make matters worse she has gotten pregnant to her brother all while she is to be joined to another member of the clan.  In order to save herself and the life inside her she quickly hides the jug thinking nobody will ever know. Things goes from bad to worse when people around her start to die, taken by the thing in the pit.

As I said before, Jug Face takes the back woods and instead of filling them with killer rednecks or mutants or mutant rednecks chasing after big breasted co-eds writer/director Chad Crawford Kinkle goes a more powerful and chilling route and shows us just how scary the woods of Tennessee can be. Right away Kinkle draws you into his world of dark scary woods, an evil pit,magic and sacrifice all without being campy or silly but deadly and frighteningly serious. Its a unique world with its own set of rules yet its also very grounded in familiar settings and reality which is so cleverly pulled off. Less is more as we never actually see whats inside the pit. Yet thats not to say we dont see anything creepy that lurks within.

Much of the powerful punch is due to the extremely well written characters that unlikely most "Hollywood" horror films is rich with development. We really begin to care about the two main characters and there plight, we don't want to see anything bad happen to them. Sean Bridgers, Lauren Ashley Carter and an guest star appearance by Sean Young rounds out this amazingly talented cast. Everyone is just fantastic and  breaths life and gives credibility to the script by Mr. Kinkle. Speaking of characters director of photography Chris Heinrich shoots the TN woods perfectly making it almost one of the players in the film. With a keen cinematic eye he really utilizes the ominous strange magical presents of the location. The visual scope of the film heightens the story the telling which is what a great D.P does.


FEARNET.com named this one of the best films of 2013 and I must strongly agree with them. It takes a familiar trappings of a horror film and makes it smart thrilling and down right chilling to the bone, all without being silly and relying on gross out gags (though gore hounds will be pleased) This is Kinkles first feature film and something tells me hes going to be the next huge name in horror. So pull up a jug of shine cause Gorehound Mike doesn't want HIS face to be next....

COMING SOON INTERVIEWS WITH CAST/CREW!!